"Do Not Ask Me To Remember" 

Do not ask me to remember,
Don’t try to make me understand,
Let me rest and know you’re with me,
Kiss my cheek and hold my hand.
I’m confused beyond your concept,
I am sad and sick and lost.
All I know is that I need you
To be with me at all cost.
Do not lose your patience with me,
Do not scold or curse or cry.
I can’t help the way I’m acting,
Can’t be different though I try.
Just remember that I need you,
That the best of me is gone,
Please don’t fail to stand beside me,
Love me ’til my life is done.

– Owen Darnell

A bit about Owen Darnell

After dealing with his wife's declining condition over time, Mr. Owen Darnell wrote a poignant poem that helps put things in some perspective.
Owen's wife Esther had graduate degrees after studying at Columbia and University of Havana in Cuba.  Following her cognitive decline, Mr. Darnell had no choice but to place his wife in a nursing home, much to the chagrin of relatives.  Unless you've dealt with a silent killer like Alzheimer's, most folks just don't understand how devastating and debilitating certain forms of dementia can be. Mr. Darnell's tribute allows us to see the disease from the other side…

 

"I Will"

When you forget, I will remember for us both.
When you get lost, I will find you.
When you are sad, I will be sad with you.
When the fear comes, I will comfort you.
When you cry, I will dry your tears.
When you lash out at me, I will not be angry.
When you repeat, I will have patience.
When you forget my name, I will understand.
When you can no longer eat, I will feed you.
When your legs fail, I will carry you.
When you long for home, I will be your safe place.
When your journey is ending, I will be by your side.
I will love you for eternity.
I will...

Michele DeSocio

 

Some background on Michele DeSocio

Growing up in a close family, Michele DeSocio learned about the power of love at a very young age and still maintains that she is happiest when with her loved ones. In 1999, she became caregiver to her mom Jean DelCampo. Michele found her voice as an advocate volunteering for Memory People, an online support and awareness group for dementia.

 

"Remembering"

As I sit by your side,
Watching you drift away,
I can’t help but wonder,
What memories do you replay?
Do you remember your wedding day,
When you said “I do” with a smile?
Or the birth of your children,
And holding them close for a while?
What about the laughter,
Of family gathered for a feast?
Or the times you held hands,
On a sunset-warmed beach?
I wish I could know,
What you see in your mind,
As you slip away from me,
Leaving me behind.
But even if you forget,
What once brought you such joy,
You’ll always know one thing,
That love is never destroyed.
So I’ll stay by your side,
Until your remembering is done,
And hold your hand tightly,
Until your final setting sun.

- Author unknown